20 Lessons from 20 Years of Mentorship
Hey there,
Helping others succeed brings a unique joy that becomes addictive. The satisfaction comes from seeing their growth and knowing you played a part in it. Little did I know where this journey would lead me…
I didn't choose to be a mentor. People started referring to me as one over time. Only recently, after years of offering guidance for free (which I still do), did I start selling it as a service.
It's been a rewarding 20-year journey, time and again coming full circle. Former mentees have become friends and trusted advisors.
After doing it repeatedly, I've gained valuable insights. While there are many lessons to share, here are twenty that stand out:
Understand what drives them. Start there.
Trust them before they trust themselves. Be vocal about it.
Show them you care.
Adapt to each person; avoid preaching. It’s a collective journey, not an ego massage.
Help them set ambitious but realistic goals. They should stretch, not burn out pursuing the impossible.
Ask them to pay it forward by helping others who know less.
Mentors and mentees both grow. Mentees gain direction; mentors gain breadth.
Set high expectations and be there regardless of success or failure.
Remind them it’s okay to fail, but only if they make an effort.
Give constructive feedback. Tough love is part of it.
Active listening is as critical as giving advice.
Stimulate self-reflection and integration of what they learn in their daily practices.
Teach them to build systems to support their growth and explain how the effects compound over time.
Instill resilience. Recovering from setbacks is as important as moving forward.
Encourage questioning, objective analysis, and considering diverse perspectives to sharpen their critical thinking.
Show them obstacles are opportunities in disguise.
Remind them it’s okay to ask for help. It’s a strength, not a weakness.
Nurture adaptability. Welcoming change and pivoting trumps any other skill.
Be a sponsor. Introduce them to the right people. Sometimes, that alone can do the job.
Be a coach. Ask powerful questions as much as you give guidance.
Most of these lessons go beyond mentorship and apply to all forms of human connection, from friendships to romantic relationships. But here's the kicker: we're all experts at giving advice but struggle to follow it.
Stay strong, Gus